Our 2012 Christmas

Due to our family situation, our Christmas is spread out over a few days. Typically, we'll allow the kids to start opening presents a couple days before Christmas so that they get to enjoy each present instead of being flooded with lots of them all at one time. It makes Christmas last longer.

Our typical schedule is to go to Tina's dad's house on Christmas Eve and spend time with him, his wife, and an assortment of kids, grandkids, friends, and friend's kids. You just never know who'll be there but it's a good time. On Christmas Day we'll open presents at home and then in the afternoon we'll go over to some friends of my family that are honorary grandparents to our children.

This year was a little different and our celebrations were spread out even more. On Sunday, two days before Christmas, we went over to Tina's dad's house and celebrated an early Christmas. There were six adults and about seven kids. We had a great time.

 

On Christmas Eve, we opened a couple presents and hung around the house not doing too much. That night we went to our church for the annual Christmas Eve celebration that we usually miss because we're usually with family. It was a great service and part of it is our pastor reading a Christmas story to the kids.

 

On Christmas was more presents and having a good time together as a family.

 

Since we were not able to go to Grandma and Grandpa Key's house on Christmas like usual, we headed over there the day after Christmas.

Aria in Christmas Program at IWG

Our kids go to Imagine West Gilbert and are doing great there. They have programs all the time but today Aria had a Christmas one and she is so cute that I just had to share.

Christmas at DSC 2012

We go to Desert Springs Church in Chandler. We love it!! I just wanted to share some of the events that our kids have been involved in this Christmas. I hope you can see why we love it.

The Children's Choir

(my daughter, Aria, has her hand over her mouth)

The Children's Christmas Production

My daughter, Suzanna, being a great angel with lots of enthusiasm.

And the snow brought in that leads to snow ball fights.

More Medication for Aria

For about a week, Aria has been complaining that her tummy doesn't feel well. She has not been sleeping through the night and has been getting up multiple times between 12am and 3am. She's also not been eating very much and that has bothered us also.

So, we scheduled some appointments for yesterday and today. She saw the pulmonologist yesterday afternoon and the doctor said her lung function is normal but he is NOT taking her off any medications.

This morning she went to visit the gastroenterologist doctor and he said that her intestines are completely blocked up. Basically, she's constipated, which is a side effect of some of the medications she is on. So, on top of all the meds she's currently taking, we now have to add two more, X-lax and Miralax. She's not had to deal with this in the past because she was on antibiotics a lot and that took care of the constipation but she's not been getting infections in the past couple months and so she has not needed antibiotics.

My wife said that this is not going to be a fun weekend. I'm having a hard time keeping up with all the medicines. We're going to need to post a schedule on the fridge because we have some she takes in the morning, some she takes at night, and some she alternates and this is going to be three times a week. We had reduced one of the meds to once a day but now it's twice a day again. It's mind-boggling.

I told my wife that if something happens to her, Aria is in a world of hurt for me trying to keep track of it all. Let's pray that doesn't happen.

Keep my daughter, Aria, in prayer. She's a tough little girl and just rolls with the punches but it always seems that if it's not one thing, it's another. Pray for Tina. It's very stressful for all of us but Tina bears the brunt of it with all the doctor appointments, pharmacy visits, insurance hassles, financial stress, etc.

We praise and thank God for our daughter's strength. The doctors that God has brought our way and the medicine that we have that can help our daughter live a somewhat normal life.

We also thank God for his provisions. He's always taken care of us and I know He'll continue to do so in the future.

"All is Vanity (Emptiness)"

I listened to Ecclesiastes yesterday morning and I listened to it again this morning on the way to work. Over and over again, "The Preacher," King Solomon, exclaims that everything is vanity. He did everything he wanted, and had wealth beyond measure, and he sought for wisdom and knowledge his entire life, and at the end of it all, he claims that "it's all vanity." Sounds hopeless but it's not. In this book, He's trying to impart wisdom to us, his listeners.

I'd like to share some of the things that I picked up while listening. It's things that I struggle with at times.

First, enjoy life. Several times Solomon tells us that whatever our lot in life, we need to enjoy it. In the end, it's all we really have. We could strive and strive for more and more and not be satisfied. We start with nothing and we don't take anything with us when we die. What do we have? We have the life that is given to us and Solomon says in Ecc.5: 18 "Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot."

The second thing that caught my attention was in Ecc.6:9a "Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the appetite." For more than five chapters Solomon has been talking about the striving for more, the emptiness it brings, the lack of satisfaction, and still striving for more without enjoying what you have and then this verse. It tells me that it is better to see what I already have then to chasing after my wants. In another place he uses the analogy that it's just like chasing the wind.

The third, and probably most important, words of wisdom (and goes nicely with the first one) that I heard these past two days is found in...
                 Ecc. 9: 7-10 "Go, 
                          1. eat your bread with joy, and 
                          2. drink your wine with a merry heart, for 
                          3. God has already approved what you do.  
                          4. Let your garments be always white. 
                          5. Let not oil be lacking on your head.
                          6. Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, 
                all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might,for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol (the grave), to which you are going."
     
When I put all this together it reminded me that I should enjoy the life that God has given me and not be wishing for things that I don't have. I need to enjoy the time I have with my wife and kids and don't waste my time thinking about having bigger and better. Whatever I do, whether work or play, do it with everything I have. I have what I have because God's already approved it for me and it's all for nothing if I'm not satisfied with my lot in life.

Solomon sums it all up in Ecc.12: 13 "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." 

While we enjoy our portion in life that God has given us, our duty in life is to honor and obey Him. I can't think of anything better than having satisfaction in life while serving my God.

Changed or Convincing

We went and saw my dad at the Yuma State Prison yesterday. We had a good visit with him and had a good five hours spent with him. We all talked, played games, ate vending machine food, and hung out until it was our time to leave.

My dad is a much different person in prison than the one I grew up with. I know he had changed. I have seen a physical change in him. The hardness of his heart seemed to disappear years ago and the anger in his eyes left with it. I really believe he is a changed man and all because God answered my prayer when I asked Him to "put my dad in a place that the only thing he could do was to look to You." I saw the events unfold as God allowed certain things to happen and six weeks later my dad is sitting behind bars and even more angry at the world for all that had happened to him.

About three years later, when I went to visit him after not seeing him for about two years, He came into the waiting room and I could physically see that all the emotions, anger, and frustrations that I had seen in him all my life seemed to be gone. He really looked like a different man. One who was at peace with God.

But there is still a part of me that doesn't trust him. How much of it is an act and how much of it is real. He talks about the Bible studies he conducts, how much he reads and studies his Bible, and a synopsis of the Gospel that he's been working on for fifteen years and trying to get published. Maybe it's real for where he is because it's really all he can do. I actually had the impression this last visit that he thinks he's better than other prisoners because he's active with reading, studying, and praying while they just whittle their time away watching TV and sleeping. Maybe he's just saying it's better to be active than laying around.

I think the true test of his change would be if he kept this up if he was to get out. Would he be as devoted as he claims to studying God's Word if he was on the outside? I realize that it would not be possible since he'd have other distractions of life, such as: job, family, friends, etc. My questions are, would he go back to his old life? Would porn suck him in like it did before with it's even easier access and more anonymous methods than it was 18 years ago? Would he go back to his old tromping grounds of debauchery and visit the places he used to? Would he be able to stay strong and and say "no" to sin without the walls and the barbed fences keeping access to it away?

That would be the true test of my dad being "changed" or just "convincing." I pray that he's not the same man that I grew up with and that he's genuine. Otherwise, he's just living the same lie that I grew up with -- super-spiritual and godly on the outside but rotten, self-serving, lying, egomaniac, who could charm anyone to fit any occasion as long as it got him what he wanted.

Is he "changed" or "just convincing?" That my question and only God really knows that answer.

Haydn's 2nd grade play

Tonight, Haydn's 2nd grade put on a play. It was cute. I took a couple photos and some video clips. I hope you enjoy them.

I had a couple more videos but can't get them to load. You can check my Facebook page.

Duty Over Desire

How many times do we do something because we should do something and not because we want to do something? We all have. We do it on a regular basis. 

What if our sense of duty is over-sensitive? What if we feel we should do something but others would understand if we didn’t do them? Or, maybe they wonder why we do it. 

I keep telling my wife that we need to go see my dad. This is not something I WANT to do. It’s something I feel that I NEED to do. As his son, I feel that I have to go. I don’t really like going but I think I should.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my dad. I always will. I actually like seeing him and knowing that he’s doing as well as possible. I just hate going to where my dad lives. I don’t like having to spend more time traveling to and from than the time spent sitting in a visiting room with him. If he lived closer, such as Florence, it wouldn’t be such a big deal to visit him.

Here is the usual trip to see my dad and why I dread it every time. We’ll leave early on a Saturday morning. We spend about three hours driving to the Az State Prison that is south of Yuma, almost into Mexico. When we get there, we park, empty our pockets of everything except ID and about $20 in quarters. We get sniffed by drug detection dogs and then we board a bus driven by one of the prisoners. We go to my dad’s unit and check in. We go through a metal detector, through two steel doors to get to the visiting room filled with tables and chairs, and we wait for them to call him from his cell. 

Depending on our timing, we’ll wait about 15 to 45 minutes for him to show up. It depends if we get there before the changing of the guards. The visitation room is about 100’ by 40’ with a bathroom for guests and one for inmates. You can go outside on the patio (concrete slab with some metal picnic tables) that’s about the same size as the room but it’s surrounded by a 15’ high chain link fence and razor wire on top.

There is usually about 50-75 visitors in the visitation room and concrete slab. Visitation is over at 4pm and so we are usually sitting around a table talking, playing games with pieces missing, reading children’s books, and eating food out of vending machines. We’re not allowed to bring in food or anything else. We’re allowed to bring in $10 per person in quarters to use in the overpriced vending machines but I think the most we’ve every brought in was $30 and it goes fairly quickly.

The kids actually enjoy it, which surprises me. At first, they didn’t realize where they were going or why they had to go through all the security. It was just the place where grandpa lived. We’ve tried to go every six months but it’s been a year now and I’m sure my dad’s anxious to see us. I know the kids want to see him. I wrote a while back that the kids know where he lives and why he’s there. I’m guessing that he’ll get more questions this time.

My dad usually has an agenda about what he wants to talk about. He’s been working on a book for the past 15 years and is in the process of trying to get it published. We started visiting him as a family seven years ago when we moved to Phoenix. We had to encourage him to play and read to the kids. They like playing games with him from the wooden box full of misused games and missing pieces.

So, basically, Tina and I sit there while my kids play with grandpa. On several trips, one of the kids gets sick on the way there or on the way home. A year ago, Aria threw up on my shirt in the lobby while waiting to get in the visiting room. Fortunately, it smelled like the chocolate donut she had just eaten. I didn’t have a clean shirt and I was not going home after that long trip and so I held Aria for six hours in the visiting room until our visit was over.

After our visit, we climb in our car, go through security to be sure we’re not hiding a prisoner, and we head home. It’s just a really long day. We’ve tried different things to make it better, such as driving over on Friday night and spending the night in a hotel and going in the morning. The last few times we’ve done without the hotel because it just bumps up the cost of the trip and it just costs too much money.

Here’s how it boils down. We try to go every six months and I’m glad that we get to see him but every six months when we start planning on when to go, I dread it. It’s just not an enjoyable trip and it costs money that we really don’t have but it’s something that I feel I need to do, that I should do, and so I go out of duty instead of desire. I’m glad when it’s over because I won’t think about going for another six months. In the end, I’m glad I go and the kids are glad they see grandpa, and I’m thankful to Tina for putting up with it all. 

Is it bad to do something you should do out of duty instead of desire?

Should I feel bad about not wanting to make that trip to Yuma more than twice a year?

Should I feel guilty that I don’t see him more than twice a year?

FAMILY UPDATE (Mostly about Aria)

The biggest thing that we deal with is Aria’s health. We hoped that the surgery in May would be the “magic pill” that fixes everything and she gets healthy and everything is hunky dory. That is not what happened. It seemed to me that nothing change or even got worse but we were told not to worry because the change can be gradual. 

Aria’s breathing was not improving and so more doctor’s visits and we find out she has a couple more rare conditions (Laryngomalacia and fat in her lungs) but her lung function was getting better due to medication she was put on this summer.

Another rare condition that our daughter has is an auto-immune issue. In a nutshell, she does not have an auto-immune system. Her body does not fight sickness very well. We were not able to do much about this until she got older and the doctors had hoped that she’d grow out of it, which happens for some kids. She didn’t and so now that we’re getting her other problems dealt with it was time to take care of her auto-immune system.

We thought we’d have to fight the insurance company but they approved it after verification of some of her medical records.   A couple of weeks ago we started her IVIG Treatments and God answered our prayers because we were hoping to do it by SubQ. These treatments happen once a week. 

Last Thursday and the Thursday before that, we showed up at the doctor’s office to be taught how to administer the treatments to her at home. This week we’re on our own. We’ll probably keep doing it on Thursday nights but we’ll do it after she’s fallen asleep.

What we are giving Aria is considered a “blood product.” This means it comes from people who donate plasma. To all of those out there who donate blood and plasma, “THANK YOU!!!!” You are part of group of people helping other people and families like ours appreciate you very much. 

Aria’s been struggling with her health for the past two weeks. It seemed like mostly a cold and she’s needed some breathing treatments. We took her in to see her pulmonologist and the doctor put her on steroids and antibiotics again and recommended that we use Mucinex because it seems to break up the mucus better and might help her breathing and sleeping at night.

Here’s the rundown on Aria’s meds. Every morning she gets two medications that we crush into a drink for her. Again, at night, she gets three more plus an inhaler and nose spray. We also have three different kinds of medications that we can give her as a breathing treatment depending on the situation. Currently she’s on steroids and antibiotics, which she seems to need every so often, although there used to be a time when it used to be on antibiotics on a regular basis. On top of all this, she now has her weekly IVIG treatments. I know I'm missing some medications that we have on hand in case we need it but you get the idea.

To look at her you’d have a hard time knowing anything is wrong with her but she’s a strong little girl and God has His hand on her. Please keep her in your prayers. I believe God has big things in store for her and that God will use her mightily.

Aria is loving school but has already missed a lot of days due to doctor’s, etc. Please pray she doesn’t fall behind in her learning, although we try to help her at home and she has a great teacher who understands.

Haydn and Suzanna are doing well in school. In most subjects, especially reading, they are above their grade levels. It’s great that their school accommodates students who excel in certain subjects so that they are always being challenged. 

Tina’s been doing a lot more substitute teaching than she thought she would but it’s a blessing. She loves the challenge but it does make for some long days for her and you can imagine how tiring it is working with junior high students all day. Please pray that God keeps giving her strength and that she’s able to maintain her health.

I’m doing well. I’m hitting seven years at my current job. God has blessed me greatly with good co-workers, a nice salary with insurance & 401K plan, and some vacation time. 

Tina and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary in December and so I’m trying to plan a special time for us to get away for a night or two. We’ll see what happens but I’m sure it will be nice.

I give God thanks for all He has done in our lives and what He has planned for us in the future. We continue to pray for His guidance in our lives and enjoy seeing Him working in our lives. We know that all things work together for our good because we love Him, because He loved us first.

Worrying Vs. Trusting

I'm not usually one to worry a lot, especially not lose sleep over something. I'm pretty laid back and easy going but I don't usually fret and worry over things. I realize that things are going to work out.

For example, my daughter is starting her Sub-Q IVIG treatments tomorrow and Tina and I are going to learn how to administer them at home. There are some concerns and this is something that I can imagine people worrying about but I'm not. I know God will take care of her and I know everything will work out.

Lately, I've been worrying about something else personal and maybe because it involves me directly and I can imagine a number of different scenarios of how things could play out and I don't trust the people involved, I'm worried. I'm losing sleep over it and I just can't seem to stop thinking about it, especially when I'm laying down to sleep. I just keep turning everything over and over in my head wondering how things are going to work out. It's very possible I have nothing to worry about and it's very possible that I should be worried. I'm really not sure.

I keep telling myself, "God's in control" and "Everything works out to the glory of God" and "All things work together for good to those who trust in Him" and "Trust God, He knows what he's doing" and any other Christian euphemism that we were all taught while growing up. My heart knows I can trust God but my worry gets in the way.

It is easy to trust God when everything is going well or it doesn't involve you. It's easy to encourage others to put their trust and faith in God when it's them that is going through the trial. What's tough is when you're going through your own trial.

I thought today that it's easy for me to trust God. I've done that my entire life. That's what I've been taught. It's what I believe and know deep down know it to be true. I don't get too worried about too many things. Part of it is just my personality.

What occurred to me today is that maybe God needs to remind me and teach me in a personal way that He is in control. Everything could just fall apart and that's ok. I know who my heavenly Father is and I know He loves and cares for me more that I do for my own kids, and that's a lot. Some lessons from God need to be learned first-hand. God had to bring something close and personal into my life to remind me that I can trust Him.

I'll admit that I'm probably not over worrying and maybe losing more sleep but while I'm struggling with that, my thoughts are more on Him. I keep reminding myself of His promises in Scripture that He loves me. He'll never forsake me and that no matter what happens, He'll take care of me. I wouldn't be reminding myself of His promises if I wasn't struggling with worry.

Bringing trials into our lives is God's way of getting us to come to Him. My prayer is asking God for strength and wisdom to go through this and in the process, learning to trust Him more.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

First of all, "the Good" is that the insurance approved Aria's treatments and on Thursday's, for the next couple of weeks, Tina and I will be going to the doctor's office to learn how to give Aria her sub-q IVIG treatments to help her with her autoimmune issues.

"The Ugly" is related to the first in that Aria will be receiving these treatments once a week for probably the rest of her life. Since it's a blood issue and comes from donors, we'll always have to carry an epinephrine injection device in case she ever has an allergic reaction to her treatments. 

"The bad" is news is that we have a bunch of bees making a home in the overhang of our home (basically the attic) and we had to schedule with a pest control company to get them removed and then repair the hole they're going to put in the trusses of the roof to remove the beehive.

The other "good" and "bad" news is that we've been trying to refinance our home for the past month but the VA is really causing some issues. The good news is that if we can get this complete our interest rate will be at 3.25% and we'll be able to skip a mortgage payment. The bad news is that the skipped mortgage payment was going to be used toward things we need but now for getting rid of the bees.

It all seems so overwhelming but God is good and has always taken care of us. He's always supplied our needs and He won't stop now.

Praise the Lord for all "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."