Sue Anderson's Birthday today - RIP

My mom would have been 73 years old today. I always remember the year because she used to say that it took 4 days for the effect of her birth to reach Hawaii. I guess it was her way of remembering one of the biggest events to happen during her lifetime, the bombing of Pearl Harbor.

I remember sitting in class at school one day and the teacher mentioned the date of the bombing of Pearl Harbor and I had an epiphany. I remember thinking, "My mom's 40 years old!" At that age, 40 seemed old and a long ways away.

She's been gone for twenty years but I still miss her and wish she was around to see her grandchildren.

If you knew Sue, my mom, would you respond to this post and tell a short story about her or something that you remember about her?

WHY I LOVE MY WIFE

My wife texted me and said, “I love you.” I responded “I love you, too.” She responded, “why?” I thought about it for a little bit because I wasn’t sure what to answer. I texted back, “because you’re awesome.” It’s the truth, but is that really a good answer?

There are a lot of things that I love about my wife but they’re not the reason I love my wife.

I love that my wife is beautiful. I find her very attractive and time won’t be able to change that.

I love that my wife is frugal. I can’t tell you how much time and energy my wife puts into saving our family money. It’s awesome!!

I love that my wife is a great wife. She takes really good care of me.

I love that my wife is a great mom. She always has their best interests at heart. She’s heavily involved in their safety, medical care, school education, training, and anything else you can think of.

I love that my wife is a great cook. I have many people, not just my kids that can attest to that.

I love that my wife is creative. One of may things she can do is sew and this has allowed her to make Easter dresses for our girls that past few years and she's made hats for my daughter so she doesn't have to feel uncomfortable after Aria's brain surgeries.

I love that my wife is friendly. People love my wife. They love talking with her.

I love that my wife is caring. People reach out to her for support. A person may just want to talk and they'll know Tina will listen and that she'll care. Sometimes a person will want advice and they'll ask Tina. They know she'll give them an honest answer. 

All these things above could change. It won't matter. It won't matter why the change. It won't matter if she can't do them any more. I won't matter if time takes away these things or if chooses not to do them any more. I will love my wife.

I love that my wife is my wife. I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I don't want anyone else to be my wife. 

I love my wife because she is my wife. I love her because I choose to love her. I love her because I WANT to love her.

If I choose to love my wife because of the things that I love about it, my love is conditional. My love is based on the things that I love about her.

If I choose to love her because I WANT to love her, then when and if those things change, I can still love her unconditionally without worrying about her changing and not being the person I think or want her to be. I can love her through the tough times. I can love her through the times when I don't "feel" like it.

I love her and I always will. No matter the time that passes, the circumstances that happen, or the changes that occur, I will always love my wife because I made that choice when I married her and I WANT to love her for the rest of my life.

I'm Relating to Jesus' Disciples when they doubted Jesus

Have you every doubted your faith? Do you ever go through times when you doubt the goodness of God?

For the last few months, I've been going through that myself.

Is God real? Why doesn't He answer? I've done what the Bible says but I'm not seeing any results.

I came across this blog post, The Correct Theology didn't help these guys, that was written by this guy, Ed Cyzewski, as a guest post, who wrote a book called Unfollowers: Unlikely Lessons on Faith from Those Who Doubted Jesus. I have not read this book but I will when I get a copy of it.

He wrote some things in the blog post that I really related to and are some of the lessons that I'll learn when I read the book. We sometimes forget how flawed the disciples were before, during, and even after they met, traveled with, and said goodbye to Jesus on the Cross and then at His Ascension.

Below are some things that really spoke to me.

They witnessed miracles. They listened to hours and hours of perfect, undeniably correct teaching. They’d even had the future predicted for them.

They still doubted.

When calamity struck, they bolted. They didn’t join their friends in prayer. They didn’t wait for clarity. While they had every reason to believe, they couldn’t make sense of their experiences. Doubt was too much for them. 

I take comfort that Jesus showed up even as they ran away.

He reveals himself to the incomplete, the uncertain, the wandering, and the unattached.

I relate because I've seen God's work in my life. I've seen Him answer prayer and guide me in my life but when you don't see those answers and you don't see the results of what God is doing in your life, it's easy to have doubts.

I have my doubts and fears and struggles but I believe in God. I believe in the God of the Bible. I believe in my heart that He knows what's best for me and my family, especially my little girl. I'll keep believing but I'm being honest when I say that it's not easy and at times I have a lot of doubts.

I take comfort that the disciples who lived with Jesus and was taught directly by Him, still had doubts, still didn't understand but when the time came, Jesus (God) came to them and helped their unbelief and didn't chastise them but understood them, loved them, and met them where they were in life, and used them greatly to serve Him.

They witnessed miracles. They listened to hours and hours of perfect, undeniably correct teaching. They’d even had the future predicted for them.
They still doubted.
- See more at: http://redemptionpictures.com/2014/03/26/the-correct-theology-didnt-help-these-guys/#sthash.fVYTybJv.dpuf

They witnessed miracles. They listened to hours and hours of perfect, undeniably correct teaching. They’d even had the future predicted for them.
They still doubted.
- See more at: http://redemptionpictures.com/2014/03/26/the-correct-theology-didnt-help-these-guys/#sthash.fVYTybJv.dpuf

They witnessed miracles. They listened to hours and hours of perfect, undeniably correct teaching. They’d even had the future predicted for them.
They still doubted.
- See more at: http://redemptionpictures.com/2014/03/26/the-correct-theology-didnt-help-these-guys/#sthash.fVYTybJv.dpuf

They witnessed miracles. They listened to hours and hours of perfect, undeniably correct teaching. They’d even had the future predicted for them.
They still doubted.
- See more at: http://redemptionpictures.com/2014/03/26/the-correct-theology-didnt-help-these-guys/#sthash.fVYTybJv.dpuf

They witnessed miracles. They listened to hours and hours of perfect, undeniably correct teaching. They’d even had the future predicted for them.
They still doubted.
- See more at: http://redemptionpictures.com/2014/03/26/the-correct-theology-didnt-help-these-guys/#sthash.fVYTybJv.dpuf

VALENTINE'S DAY 2014 - My Favorite One - so far

On February 14^th, my wife and I had plans to go out for dinner. Our two oldest children were at a church activity for a couple of hours and we had a friend at our house ready to watch Aria. It had only been one week since Aria’s brain surgery but she loves our friend and we thought it would be fine.

As we tried to leave, she starts begging us not to go. She’s clinging to us and didn’t want us to leave her. So, my wife came up with a brilliant idea of ordering some food and having Aria be our waitress and include her in our romantic evening.

I headed out to Pei Wei to pick up a couple dinners to bring back. While I was gone, my wife set up a small table with candles in the front room. When I came home, we sat down and Aria came to take our order and asked us what we wanted to drink. She brings our drinks and then takes our food order. Our friend helps her put food on the plates and she brings us our food. Every few minutes she would come in and ask us if we need anything more to drink or some more food.

She was so cute. It was great to be able to include her in our special evening. After we were done, she asked if we’d like to go to a private room to snuggle and kiss. She was coached by our friend but it was really sweet. She walked us upstairs to our room and then went back downstairs to be with our friend.

We didn't get to be alone too long because we had to go pick up the kids from church and then we all headed to the airport to pick up my sister, Tammy, who was coming into town to spend a week with us.

Overall, it was just a great and wonderful evening and definitely one to remember.

MOM

It's not Mother's Day but I've been thinking about my mom quite a bit last week. When I think of my mom, I think of Sue, my second mom. I don't think of her as my step-mom. She's not the one who gave birth to me but she's the one that raised me.

My mom would have been 72 on Dec. 3rd. She used to make the statement that it took four days for the results of her birth to reach Pearl Harbor. It's also the way I remember when she was born.

I was watching a silly sitcom and there was some friction between the grandma and the step-mom over who deserved the "mom" necklace made out of macaroni by the three year old girl. The grandma who helped raise her the first couple years or the step-mom who had married the father. As most sitcoms do, it all worked out well and they were with all the people who cared about each other and that made them a family.

Earlier that night, before we watched that sitcom, our family was setting up the Christmas tree. The kids started singing and my wife sang a little and I remember thinking that my mom would have loved singing Christmas songs with my kids.

Can I be honest and tell you that I'm upset that my mom's not here to see her grandkids and that my kids don't get to know their grandma? She's been gone over 18 years now. I missed her when I was single but I miss her even more now that I have kids.

I am comforted by the fact that I'll see her again in heaven. I know that here on earth her life was miserable and that she's happy now. There's still a part of me that wishes she could be here to celebrate Christmas with her son (the one she raised as if she'd given birth to him) and his family.

Moms are special and I'm glad my kids get to enjoy the holidays with their mom.

CHALLENGES

#1 My Daughter’s Surgery this Week

This week my youngest is going in for her second brain surgery to address her Chiari Malformation. She had this done back in June of 2012. She’s really strong and did really well the last time and so I’m praying that it goes really well this time also.

I know we're very anxious about it but I told my wife last night that God loves Aria more than we do. I know that He has her in His hands and He will take care of her. I have faith in my heavenly Father.

#2 Our Children’s Behavior

It’s not easy to go through and I know it really wears on our family. My wife says that she can tell that it’s bothering the kids. When she drops off the kids for school, Aria does not want to go unless mommy promises to come to school early in the afternoon to be with her in the classroom. I’m very thankful that Tina is able to do that, although I know that puts a strain on Tina to get the things done she wants to do for the day.

Suzanna and Haydn have been acting up a little more than normal. Tina thinks it’s because they’re bothered by all that’s going on with Aria. She’s probably correct but it could also be their way of attracting attention since Aria gets the most due to all her medical treatments and we cater to Aria because of how much she goes through on a daily basis.

Have you ever been at a loss on how to correct your children’s behavior?

Have you ever felt like a failure because your child just can’t seem to control him/herself?

Do you ever worry that you, as a parent, must be doing something wrong when your kids just can’t seem to listen?

Probably not and it’s just me but that is some of the challenges that I face when it comes to our kids’ behavior.

#3 Finances

Bills are always a stress and if it’s not one thing, it’s another. Medical bills come in the mail on a regular basis. Our car was hit a couple weeks ago and we had to come up with the $500 deductible plus 20% of the cost of a week’s rental on a car. I had to replace all four tires on my car about two months ago.

BUT, God is good!!

1. I have a job that pays most of the bills.
2. Tina works some and does what she can to bring in some money.
3. Tina is awesome at saving money and finding that bargain. For example, this week on three different occasions she’s saved between 65 and 85% at the grocery store.
4. Our kids have more than enough to eat and clothes to wear.
5. We live in a nice house that God allowed us to refinance last year that lowered our mortgage.

I’m sure I could go on but I’ll stop at that for now.

#4 Faith

Do you ever wonder why God allows bad things to happen to people, especially people who believe and put their trust in Him?

I know people who are struggling with or deny that there is a God because it can be hard to believe in a good, loving God when all you see is bad things happening all around.

It's especially hard when bad things happen to yourself and/or your family. We've all wondered how God could allow such a thing to happen. Doesn't God love us? Couldn't have God stopped it?

Faith can be a challenge but I believe Roman 8:28 when it says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."


Challenges are a part of life. The challenges that come into our lives should help remind us to focus on Him. That's not always easy because we like to focus on ourselves.

Let's remember what James 1:2-5 says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."

Worrying Vs. Trusting

I'm not usually one to worry a lot, especially not lose sleep over something. I'm pretty laid back and easy going but I don't usually fret and worry over things. I realize that things are going to work out.

For example, my daughter is starting her Sub-Q IVIG treatments tomorrow and Tina and I are going to learn how to administer them at home. There are some concerns and this is something that I can imagine people worrying about but I'm not. I know God will take care of her and I know everything will work out.

Lately, I've been worrying about something else personal and maybe because it involves me directly and I can imagine a number of different scenarios of how things could play out and I don't trust the people involved, I'm worried. I'm losing sleep over it and I just can't seem to stop thinking about it, especially when I'm laying down to sleep. I just keep turning everything over and over in my head wondering how things are going to work out. It's very possible I have nothing to worry about and it's very possible that I should be worried. I'm really not sure.

I keep telling myself, "God's in control" and "Everything works out to the glory of God" and "All things work together for good to those who trust in Him" and "Trust God, He knows what he's doing" and any other Christian euphemism that we were all taught while growing up. My heart knows I can trust God but my worry gets in the way.

It is easy to trust God when everything is going well or it doesn't involve you. It's easy to encourage others to put their trust and faith in God when it's them that is going through the trial. What's tough is when you're going through your own trial.

I thought today that it's easy for me to trust God. I've done that my entire life. That's what I've been taught. It's what I believe and know deep down know it to be true. I don't get too worried about too many things. Part of it is just my personality.

What occurred to me today is that maybe God needs to remind me and teach me in a personal way that He is in control. Everything could just fall apart and that's ok. I know who my heavenly Father is and I know He loves and cares for me more that I do for my own kids, and that's a lot. Some lessons from God need to be learned first-hand. God had to bring something close and personal into my life to remind me that I can trust Him.

I'll admit that I'm probably not over worrying and maybe losing more sleep but while I'm struggling with that, my thoughts are more on Him. I keep reminding myself of His promises in Scripture that He loves me. He'll never forsake me and that no matter what happens, He'll take care of me. I wouldn't be reminding myself of His promises if I wasn't struggling with worry.

Bringing trials into our lives is God's way of getting us to come to Him. My prayer is asking God for strength and wisdom to go through this and in the process, learning to trust Him more.

School Project Weekend

This weekend two of the kids needed to work on school project. Due to circumstances (Tina not being home), I was put in charge of helping them get things done. To say the least, it was interesting.

The first one was on Saturday morning. Haydn had numerous choices but chose to do a diorama. He had already picked out a book, The Magic Treehouse #1 where they end up flying on a pterodactyl and Haydn was going to have one hanging in the box but he misplaced the book and went and found #3 which had them seeing a mummy.

We spent the morning putting it together. I glued paper to the inside of the box and I did one of the figures to show him how it could be done because he was really overdoing it and the figures would not have been able to stand up in the box. He painted the figures and I glued the figures together and then glued them in the box and supported the back of the figures with a toothpick. I think it came out fairly well. What do you think?

Sunday became Suzanna's turn because she didn't get to work on it Saturday because she was gone all morning and had a friend over all afternoon. Suzanna had many choice for her book report and she chose to do a "flat" person about the character, Clementine. It took a while but here's what we came up with. What do you think? If it was mine, I might have redone the cardboard but Suzanna was pretty happy about it and as you can tell, perfection is not what we were going for. This morning, before she took "flat" Clementine to school, she put socks and shoes on her.

Overall, it was a fun weekend. I had fun helping my kids with their projects.

BLESSINGS

God's Providence
       I want to thank God for His Providence and guidance in our lives. The Lord has provided for our family in numerous ways.
       1. God provided a job for me for the past seven years that has paid enough to allow my wife to stay home and take care of our children. This is no small thing in today's economy.
       2.  God has allowed Tina to do some part-time jobs in teaching and tutoring around the kids' schedule.
       3.  God's given Tina a gift of being able to save our family a LOT of money through coupons and other store incentives. It helps the paycheck a lot when a very gifted wife is able to stretch it.
       4.  God has brought many people, especially the past two years, into our lives that have been such an encouragement and blessing to us in so many ways.

Education Pays!!!
       My wife and I completed our master's degrees a few years ago but for various reasons my wife has stayed home with the kids. A couple years ago we put our children into a charter school, which we love, and now our youngest is in kindergarten. Tina's been volunteering there in the kids' classroom but at the end of last year they were pushing her to get a substitute teaching certificate for this upcoming school year.
       Education pays because she already had the education she needed to do the paperwork (fingerprint card, background check, application, etc.) and she was able to submit and receive her certificate that allows her to substitute teach. It took months to come in but she got it this week and the school is excited and has already put her to work and has scheduled for a couple more days next week.
       Tina's very excited and all the teachers there are telling her that they are going to request her if they ever need a substitute teacher for their class.

Our Church
       We have been at our new church for over two years now. I LOVE IT !!! I'm excited to go to church every Sunday. The love of God is evident among the believers. They love God, each other, and helping not only those in the church but also those in the community. There is a major focus on relationships with God, each other, and the community. There's no condemnation and guilt but an encouragement to listen to God, to obey, and let God have the preeminence in your life. The conviction comes from the Holy Spirit, not the man on stage laying on a guilt trip.

My Dad Called Today (8-11-12)

Yep! It's been many, many years since he's been able to call and in the past he had to do it collect. Now the prison has set up a way for a prisoner to use a phone card from an account to call. It costs him $1.20 to connect and $.30 a minute.

Is it just me or are dad's intimidating? I just felt uneasy talking with him on the phone. It could be that we just don't have a close relationship. Also, he has certain ideas that I just have not addressed because I'd just rather not address it or let him down.

First, he wrote a harmony of the Gospels years ago that he just thinks is the greatest thing and he uses it in prison and he's been working on trying to get it printed. He keeps asking what people think about it, especially family. He probably thinks I've read it but I haven't. I've sent it electronically to family and he thinks he'll get great reviews from them but they've never responded about it and I've never asked.

Second, he thinks I've been calling the Dept. of Corrections to get him moved closer. I have not because when I wrote about it a couple years ago they told me it didn't work that way. I'd like him closer but I've not gone out of my way to make it happen.

Third, he thinks he'll get out at 75 years old, in about seven years. I believe he's wrong and according to the AZ DOC, I'm right but I'm not going to tell him.

Fourth, I just have mixed feelings. He talks about prayer and Aria's healing and religious things, and I believe he's sincere, but it just seems odd to me coming from him. He acts like a father figure and other things that he's not been for years.

Fifth, when I have told him things, he starts giving unwanted advice.

There may be more but I'll leave it at that.

The Kids Know about Grandpa (my dad)

About a year ago the kids figured out that their grandpa lived in a prison in Yuma, Az. I had taken Haydn to a baseball game and we were gone all night. My wife stayed home with the girls and watched TV, including Mythbusters, one of their favorite shows. The episode dealt with Andy and Jamie breaking out of prison and they were wearing prison garb. My girls asked about what prisoners wear and my wife mentioned that sometimes they also wear orange instead of black and white stripes. My oldest daughter remarks that grandpa wears orange and asked if he was in prison. My wife tells her “yes” and that he was there because he did a bad thing. My wife did not tell me about this conversation.

A couple weeks later I’m driving the kids home from church and my wife’s not in the car. My daughter said something to the fact that grandpa was in prison. My son goes, “what? No, he’s not.” I’m thinking, “Where did they hear that from?”I had hoped that they would figure it out the last time they went to visit him but they didn’t see the signs about it being a prison. They asked me if it was true and I confirmed it but didn’t say why. It’s a shocking thing to learn. I asked Tina about it and she told me how the girls figured it out.

A few months ago, my son kept asking questions about my and how she died. I tried to be vague but he kept pressing. I tried to do it gently letting him put the pieces together. I went something like this. (I’ve shortened it. This conversation was at least 10 minutes or longer.)

                        Haydn – How did your mom die.

                        Me – Someone killed her.

                        Haydn – Do you know who?

                        Me – Yes

                        Haydn – What’s their name?

                        Me – You don’t need to know that?

                        Haydn – Please. I want to know. (He asked several times.)

                        Haydn – Did they catch him?

                        Me – Yes, he’s in prison.

                        Haydn – Good. What’s his name?

                        Me – Do you know anyone who’s in prison for doing a bad thing?

                        Haydn – Yes, grandpa.

                        Me – That’s right.

                        Haydn – Grandpa did it?

                        Me – Yes

                        Haydn – Why?

                        Me – You’ll have to ask him next time you see him.

On several other occasions Haydn has asked me “why?” I usually tell him that dad was a very selfish and self-centered person and he chose to do the wrong thing. I have my own reasons of why he did it but I don’t go into it with him.

Until about a month ago, my daughter’s did not know why he was in prison and I don’t think my youngest even remembers. Again, in the car, my kids were talking and were talking about the Ten Commandments and Suzanna said that they didn’t know anybody who’s murdered anyone. Haydn pipes up and said, “Yes we do, grandpa.” Suzanna was shocked and confirmed it with me because she couldn’t believe it. She’s never brought it up except once when I was tucking her into bed and she said she was scared for mom. I asked why and she said she was afraid that mom would get hurt just like grandma. I had to assure her that grandpa would not do that and that I was not like my dad and that I would never hurt mommy. I promised her that I would never do that to her mommy. I think that made her feel better.

Well, now the kids know where grandpa lives and why. The next visit should be interesting. My guess is that they’ll be asking him a lot more questions than they did last time.

Sin “bringeth forth death” James 1:15

Near the end of 1994, my family saw this verse personified in our family. I had been in Florida about four months and in August my parents drove out Pensacola, FL. My sister was about to start another year at PCC and I was working and hoping to go to school in the future. From what I was told later by my mom’s friends, my dad spent the trip home telling my mom about his filthy life and all the things he’d been doing behind her back. The goal I’m told was to get her to leave. My mom married “for better or for worse.” For 20 plus years, my mom got mostly “for worse” but each year seemed to get worse and by the end my dad wasn’t even trying to hide it any more.

When I wrote Prayer and Fasting (Story 2) I told this part of the story but I’ll summarize it here. My dad’s life of sin led him to murder his wife, my mom. I’ve had people ask my why he did it. I’ve told them that he’d been straddling a fence for so long living in the world but trying to make other people think he was a good Christian that he finally made a choice and fell on the side of sin and caused heartache and suffering for his family. My son has asked me several times why grandpa did that and all I can tell him is that dad was a very selfish person and chose to do wrong. There are many reasons why he did it but it boils down to sin, & sin brought forth a physical death in the way of my mom.

Halloween Night, 1994, my dad called his children to tell us that mom had been found and that she was dead. Tri-City Baptist (TCBC) paid (“Thank you, Pastor Singleton, who loved my mom as if she was his daughter.”) for my sisters and me to fly to MI where my dad had made arrangements to have mom’s body flown so that we could have the funeral there and bury her next to her parents. During the funeral, the “funniest” thing I heard was when the person giving the eulogy said that “I just met Bob, I know that him and Sue had a great marriage.”

We stayed at the home of one of mom’s childhood friends. I remember my sister’s and I talking about, “what if it was dad?” That was not easy to think about but we decided that we had been taught that a person should pay for his crimes and so we determined that we would not hire someone to defend him if he was guilty. A couple days later, all four of us (my dad, my two sisters, and I) flew to Arizona on Sunday to have a memorial service for my mom on Monday night at TCBC. What we didn’t know is that police detectives had flown on the same planes with my dad to and from MI.

As we got off the plane, two detectives arrested my dad but didn’t handcuff him. We were not sure what was going on but a man from our church picked us up at the airport and took us home. My grandparents had driven in from CA for the memorial service and had rented a hotel room because they saw that my parent’s house had been searched by the police and they wouldn’t stay there. I wouldn’t have been able to do that either.

On Sunday night, everyone except me went to TCBC for the evening service. I decided to go to First Baptist because my friends were there that I had not seen in six months. During the service, someone from TCBC came to tell me what happened.

At Tri-City, the church service had started and while everyone was singing, Pastor Singleton was requested backstage. The detectives told the pastor that my dad had confessed to murdering Sue (my mom). Pastor Singleton came to the front, told the congregation, prayed, and dismissed the service. Then someone was sent to tell me. After being told, I went back into the service and told my friends and went to go see my grandparents at the hotel. It was quite an emotional time.

Who would have thought that at the age of 50 years of age, my dad would become a murderer?

Moving to Florida (1994)

As God was working in my life, I accepted the challenge and fasted for 24 hours. That was rough but my prayer was for God to do work in my life. My prayer was very generic but I wanted more spiritually. My church was having a mid-week three day conference and even though I worked nights driving for my second job, I made it each night. On Wed. night, I felt God tell me to quit my job at Walgreens. I had just started my new department manager job on Monday. I told Lee and Faye and they encouraged me to obey God’s voice and that I could do it on Friday. I said, “no, I need to do it tomorrow or I might not do it.” I walked in Thursday and put in my two week notice. I didn’t tell my boss but I told others that I quit because God told me to. I kept working my night job of driving for Execucar.

At some point I decided that I should go back to college. About a year and a half earlier I had gone with my mother to drop my sister off at Pensacola Christian College (PCC) where she a student. I remember liking the campus and I wanted to go somewhere new. My thought was that I need to put myself into a strict environment where I’ll be forced to do what’s right so that I can get back on track with God. On Easter Sunday, I went to Lee and Faye’s house for dinner and told that what I was thinking. They encouraged me by saying, “God can’t direct your paths unless you’re moving your feet.” I decided to move my feet toward Pensacola in hopes of attending college there in the future.

A few weeks later I packed my old Oldsmobile with everything I could and with $200 headed across the country. On the way I’d find a spot to park my car and sleep. During one stretch of the road I saw a car with someone changing the tire and I started to move over and ended up running over a piece of metal that gave me an instant flat tire. I’m guessing that’s how he had a flat. By the time I pulled into Pensacola, FL I had about $25 in my pocket. I had a friend who lived in the area that knew I was coming. I hadn’t planned on it but they insisted that I stay with them for a little bit. I owe Joel and Kim and huge debt of gratitude for opening their doors to me. At the time, they had two little ones.

I knew that God wanted me there. I didn’t know how God would provide but I wasn’t worried. I found a part-time job and a guy who was renting a room. Later on, I ended up working at Toys R Us and Radio Shack. I was used to working two jobs at a time. When Fall came, I wasn’t able to start school yet but that was ok. I was nearby and going to the Campus Church and making friends.

The "ME" Years

Unfortunately, I did my own thing for a while and had no real direction in life. The first half of the “ME” years was me moving out, serving in the military, and working. The second half started after getting back from Desert Storm in ‘91 and getting settled back down into the grind of life. I finished out my time with the Marine Corps and got out in Sept. ’92. I went back to my old job at Metagram, located near Baseline and the I-10, and started a part-time night job at Walgreens at Baseline and Hardy. During this time, my car stopped working and I didn’t have the money to fix it and so for a few years I had various modes of getting to work, such as walking a mile to the bus stop and taking that to work and then roller-blade to my next job and then roller-blade home. I did this for a couple years. There was a while when I just roller-bladed both ways.

For a while after coming home, I did go to church and hung out with some of the singles. We’d party on Saturday night and go to church on Sunday. My friend, Code, who was in the Marine Corps with me, came to church and got saved but beyond that nothing much spiritual happened. After a while, with working so much, I didn’t make room for church or God and I just quit going. The amazing thing is that I always had a quiet little voice telling me that I wasn’t doing right. I wasn’t doing what I’d been taught but I ignored that voice but the Holy Spirit never ignored me. He never gave up on me and I’m sure that had a lot to do with not only my guilty conscience but also the prayers of my mom.

You might expect me to tell you that life was terrible but in reality, it wasn’t. I could barely pay the bills. I didn’t have a girlfriend or date, although that would have been nice. Code and I became best friends and we did just about everything together. We made a memorable trip to Vegas one time to meet another MC buddy who said he’d show us around. I made about $100 at the slots. That was cool but mostly we just worked, hung out, played pool, watched movies, played Nintendo, and other stuff.

A couple years went by and I decide it was time for me to go back to church. I showed up at Tri-City but felt judged because I was not a good Christian. I knew I wasn’t spiritual but I wanted to change. I felt I should have been accepted for where I was spiritually not for where they thought I should be. I didn’t go back and didn’t think about going to any church for another six months. But the Holy Spirit would let me go and I kept being urged to go to church. I finally decided to look for one and showed up at First Baptist Church of Tempe. After going a couple Sundays, I decided to go to the singles Sunday school class. This was a great class with a great teacher and I met a lot of great singles. Over the next year or two, God used this church to do a work in my heart. I started having an interest in spiritual things again. I desired to learn and grow. This is the church where I was challenged to “prayer and fasting.” I was encouraged to listen to God’s voice and obey. This was the church that helped me get back on track to wanting to serve God with my life.

I met numerous mature married couples but there were two that had the biggest impact on my life. One was the Sunday school teacher & his wife and the other was Lee and Faye. When I felt God calling me to go back to school, Lee and Faye said that “God can only direct your path if you’re moving your feet.” I loved that and still believe it’s true. They opened up their home to me about six months later during my family’s tragedy, but more on that in the future.

In 1994, I packed my car and moved to Pensacola, FL. But that’s a whole ‘nother story that I’ll tell at another time but it ended the “ME” years in search of pursuing God’s purpose in my life.

Finally Home - after Desert Storm

We finally arrived home, the U.S., but we still had to process from active duty to reserve duty. We were allowed to come back to our homes in AZ for a few days but then had to go back to Camp Pendleton for a couple of weeks. There wasn’t much for us to do and so most days we’d do whatever the MC needed us to do and then we’d be off for the day. There were some days when we’d be heading off-base by 9 or 10 am. We’d make different trips throughout CA. Some brought cars back from AZ to drive and others rented a car. I’d usually go off with a friend or two. One day, my friend and I decided to go to Magic Mountain. What we didn’t know is that they were only open on the weekends. On the way back got off at the Hollywood exit and drove through Chinatown and then parked on Hollywood Boulevard and walked on the “stars.” I bought a black soft leather jacket that I wore for almost 15 years. While walking around we were invited to go to one of the Hollywood studios to be part of a test pilot group to evaluate a possible new show. It was a love reality show. I’m not sure if it ever made it on the air.

Later that week we did make it to Magic Mountain. While in CA, we also went to Disneyland, downtown LA, and a few other places. We had a great time before we finally headed back home to AZ. Now that I was home, I lived with my parents for about six weeks until I found an apartment a couple miles away on Mill Rd & the US60 in Tempe and I lived there for the next five years. Thus ended another chapter in my life and the beginning of another.

My Tour of Duty

One thing that I learned about war is that it’s not all Hamburger Hill, Saving Private Ryan, We Were Soldiers, or any other numerous war movies that you’ve seen. There are a lot of behind the scene kind of people that help those out in front do their job. It’s still dangerous because you’re in a war zone and it takes a lot for those on the front lines to do their jobs.

My unit’s job was fuel supply. We basically thought of ourselves as glorified gas attendants. We unloaded fuel off the fuel trucks into our “fuel farm” and pumped it up about a mile to the Air Force who was running the flight line. We moved about 500,000 to 750,000 gallons of fuel a day. We had C-130 cargo plans flying in all day and those planes have a 50,000 gallon fuel capacity. We also had fighter planes come in and one time one was on fire and flew over the fuel farm on its way into the runway. That was pretty cool, well, maybe not for the pilot.

I was in a fox hole with an MP with a 50 cal machine gun aimed at the rear gate when we declared war on Iraq. On the radio we listened live to President George Bush’s address. We didn’t know what was going to happen. We expected suicide bombers, trucks driving through the gate to attempt sabotage, or any other form of retaliation. It didn’t happen.

I was at that fuel farm a few weeks and they asked for volunteers to head about 100 miles north, about 30 miles south of the Iraq border and start a new fuel farm at the end of a small runway. Me and about 5 others loaded up our gear and headed to our new “home.” We didn’t see a shower or hot food for about a month. Later on we did hook up with another small unit of about 15. We did a lot of sitting around waiting for things to happen. We supplied fuel to the Air Force and we had fuel trucks coming in and out throughout the day either picking up or dropping off fuel.

A few weeks after being there we heard about a “camp” about 3 miles away that had hot food and showers. Four of us decided to walk there, with permission from our Sgt, of course. As we’re walking across the desert in the middle of nowhere to get over to the camp we have to cross a road. As we’re about to cross a station wagon comes by, stops, asks us where we were going and offers us a ride. He then tells us that he’s from England and he works on the underwater oil rigs for the Saudi Arabians and lives in a compound with some other men right behind the camp. He then offers to take us there for food, shower, and a phone call home. We get there, and to be honest, it was hard to choose to shower first or eat. We all chose shower. We then went to eat. They had a buffet set up (this was normal for the men who lived there) and the cook, who was from the Philippines, had prepared a lot of food. I had some of the best curry that I’ve ever had in my life. I then called home but had to leave a message (answering machine, cell phones weren’t around). Then they took us back to our “home” and offered our small unit to keep coming over, which we did but created a schedule of when we would go over.

The biggest scare we had happened at about 2am when we heard a huge explosion. It turned out to be a scud missile that landed about 5 miles away. It was basically a missile that was pointed in the desired direction and when it ran out of fuel, it fell, hopefully injuring the enemy. We had not built a bunker yet and since we were worried about chemical agents, we put on our gas masks and went back to sleep. I had a short scare because I went to reach for mine next to my bunk and couldn’t find it quickly and had a moment of panic.

At night we could hear a low rumble that sounded like thunder. It turned out to be us bombing the Iraqi’s getting ready to cross the border to kick the Iraqi’s out of Kuwait.

The ground war lasted three days and they surrendered. In March, we packed up our gear. We pumped the fuel that was left into the middle of the desert. We were told that the Saudi’s told us to do it because that’s where it came from in the first place. We headed back south to gather our unit together from all over the country and to prepare to come home by cleaning our gear.

Our group was the first to get to the staging area and one night the captain comes in and asks one of the guys if he had his driver’s license. He said, “no, sir.” He then asked me and I said, “Yes, sir” and he goes, “You’re my new driver.” For the next two weeks I drove the captain wherever he had to go. I’d be up at 7am checking the Humvee and back around 7 or 8pm after stopping at “Camp 5” to get a shower. The other guys had to walk a mile to get a shower.

When it was time, we loaded a 777 civilian transport plane and headed home. We stopped in Belgium and then in Bangor, ME where we had an awesome military welcome home party in the terminal. I got back an hour early to the plane because I wanted to sit up in the cockpit during take-off, which I did. It was awesome and the plane felt like it went straight up in the air and within seconds we were above the clouds. We arrived back in CA and spent the next couple weeks at Camp Pendleton processing out of the military to go back to our reserve unit. All total, I was in Saudi Arabia about three and a half months.