Aimless Through Life

I thought my parents did pretty well in letting me grow up and move out. They didn’t guide me much beyond what I was already getting at my Christian school and Baptist church. I was going in a good direction and thought I knew where I was headed. Sometimes I look back and wish they had prepared me more but I realize that it’s not their fault. I was trained my entire life toward being in church ministry. I was headed to becoming a preacher somewhere. I thought being an evangelist would be cool but I probably would have ended up a youth pastor, which would have been great.

I look at where I am now, working for corporate America and wonder what I’m doing. I look back and wish my parents had given me guidance in this area of my life because I’d be so much further in my career but I can’t blame them. It was me that got my life on to a different track. It was me who made mistakes and me who did not to finish out my sophomore year of college and me who decided to go to ITT Tech for computer design instead of back to IBC for pastoral studies. It was me who chose to continue working various jobs, stop going to church, and do my own thing for a while, basically wasting about ten years.

I also see the Holy Spirit’s work in my life because the quiet voice of God was always reminding me that I was not following Him. I finally started going back to church and I was still working two jobs but things were looking up. I was now working at Walgreens and Ameritech and after a couple of years at Walgreens I was promoted to department manager for a different store. I quit Ameritech, my day job, and started working nights for Execucar again and moved to my new store.

In 1994, around Feb/Mar. timeframe, I had been praying to God to give me guidance but I had no pre-conceived ideas of what that meant. A few weeks later at church (not TCBC), we had a three-night mid-week conference and I made a point to be there. On Wednesday night, my third day as a department manager, I heard God tell me to quit my job and go back to school. The next day, I put in my two week notice. Two months later I moved to Pensacola, FL in the hopes of attending Pensacola Christian College (PCC). A family tragedy put my plans on hold for another year and a half.

I attended PCC for two years starting in the Fall of 1995. I then came back to IBC in the Fall of 1997 and spent two years finishing my bachelor’s degree and working on a master’s degree. I worked at various churches during that time and then moved up to East Wenatchee, WA for two years to work as the youth pastor. I then headed off in August 2001 to Watertown, WI, where I attended Maranatha Baptist Bible College (MBBC) & earned a BSED degree, got married, and had two of my three children.

I moved my family to Arizona where I landed a good job in a large company but no promotions yet. My third child was born in the middle of pursuing my MAED. My family goes to church and we're living the American dream. 

At times it feels like my life has been pretty aimless with no clear direction or goal. I do wonder what awaits my family around the next bend of life's path but because I don't have the road mapped out or see clear roadsigns of the future, does that mean I've been wandering aimlessly through life?

This is what I realize. God prepared me for the love of my life, my wife. God had me go through experiences without wife and kids to help me be a better husband and father than I would have been in my 20's. God brought people into my life that I needed that have helped my family and be a support in life's struggles. He created a desire in me to learn and He's helped me use the things I've learned in the past to help me make wise decisions for the future.God has also prepared me to be a support to my wife through her trials, both figuratively and literally. 

Years ago, when I was searching for direction in my life, a wise couple told me, "God can't guide you unless you're moving your feet." I believe that's true. 

At times it may seem to me that I'm aimlessly going through life but I have to realize that it is God directing me down the path He has chosen for me so that I can be used of Him where He has placed me, to people I meet, and to future opportunities that He opens up for me. 

My seemingly aimless journey through life is a testimony of God's guidance in molding a child of His to be in His image through the twists and turns of life with only God knowing the path ahead.