Couldn't Say "No"

I’m not sure if it’s my personality or my upbringing but I’ve always had a hard time saying “no,” especially to my dad and I could never question him without feeling like I was being disrespectful. There were a few times as an adult that he asked me to do something for him and even though I knew I should say “no,” I did. I didn’t feel like I could say “no” to him. Let me give you a couple examples.

When I left for MC boot camp, I gave my bank information to my dad to take care of my account. When I came home, there should have been money in there. My dad had taken it upon himself to borrow it. Now, he did pay it back right away and I think I expressed my displeasure but I didn’t really say anything. What I did do was when I was activated for Desert Shield/Storm was give my mom my power of attorney to handle my accounts to pay bills, etc. When I came back, there was money in my bank and a detailed account of what my mom did. If it had been my dad, I’m not sure it would be there.

A better example is about six months before my deployment, which I didn’t know about yet, my dad asked me to help him out by moving out of my current place and take over the rent of an apartment that he was renting. He claimed that he had been helping a woman and her kids and he was making them move out. I thought it strange but I took his word for it at the time. I knew it was not a good situation for me but I wanted to help him out. It turned out worse than I thought. After the first three months, my rent jump each month. About 75% of my income was going to rent. I was trapped but was rescued from that apartment by my deployment. When I came back six months later, I found a new apartment and a second job and life was a little bit easier.

About a year later my car broke and I ended up with no car for almost two years. My dad offered to get rid of it for me with someone who he knew would buy junk cars and said he’d give me the money. My dad said the guy only gave him $50. I’d be willing to guess that my dad got a lot more for it than that but who was I to say he was lying.

I should be glad that my dad didn’t ask more things of me. He was too busy doing his own stuff and I was busy working two jobs and hanging out with my friends. I didn’t see my parents much even though they lived less than two miles down the road.