Lessons My Dad Taught Me (part 1)

For better or for worse, I learned things from my dad, things that he taught me on purpose and those I learned that he didn’t mean to teach me. In some areas, I’m a lot like my dad. I look like him a lot and when people said I looked just like my dad and that made me proud. I wanted to be like my dad. I don’t want to be like him any more and use his example now of what not to be but I wish that didn’t have to be the case and I pray that I’m a good example to my kids, not a poor one.

HARD WORK  When I was really young, my dad used to bring home medical kits that all of us would put them together. When I got older, around 12-14, my dad used to take me to work with him. There were two or three summers that I helped him vacuum off rocks of flat roofs to prep them for tar or foam. We drove a huge vacuum truck with lots of 4-5 inch plastic bendable plastic tubes that we’d connect with duct tape and we’d suck the rocks off the roofs and then empty the truck in an empty lot or where someone wanted gravel. It was extremely dirty, hot work. We’d be up around 4am to beat the summer heat and be off the roof by 1pm, if possible. I did not get paid for my labor. It was an expectation that I’d help. When I was in high school, he delivered food for Circle K stores. I went a couple times on his route around town to help. When I was 17, he had a route that took him up to Vegas and back through Bullhead City. He let me go one time with him. That was extremely exciting for me. We drove down the strip (there was only one at the time) at night. We went into Circus Circus but not on the “floor” because I was not legally old enough to be around the gambling machines and tables but the animals were cool.

OBEDIENCE  My dad expected obedience. When my dad asked me to do something, it was not a request but an order. Although my dad stopped spanking me fairly young, I always feared that belt. When my dad said I couldn’t do something, I didn’t do it even if he’d never know. It took me almost ten years after I moved out to be able to say “no” to my dad, even if it was in my best interest. It was so ingrained in me to do what he asked. I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me.

RESPECT  I grew up with a step-mother but I thought of her as my mom. My dad made sure we understood that if we ever did anything negative, like hitting, toward her, he said he’d make sure we paid for it. If we disobeyed her, we were disobeying him and that came with consequences.