I just finished reading this book. It's a true story of a man who was abused from the age of 13 to 19 by his uncle. He hid this secret from every single person. He was married for 26 years before he finally told his wife and little bit longer before he told his kids.
Here's some lessons from his book.
1.
Keeping your abuse secret has serious consequences.
a.
It affected his emotional connection to his wife.
b.
It tore him up inside and he felt alone and worthless while
pretending to everyone else that life was perfect.
c.
He developed unhealthy coping behaviors to hide his secret
d.
His children learned these behaviors even though they had not
been abused
2.
When he finally told his secret to his wife a great burden was
lifted and the healing could begin.
3.
Healing takes time and every person’s journey will be
different.
4.
According to Bill on pages 114-5, the phrases “forgive and
forget” “move on” “demonstrate a little more faith, that’s what Jesus would do”
is disrespectful.
He says,
“but to simplify the pathway or timeline is to seriously disrespect the level
of damage abuse does. Forgiveness can be very complicated….Survivors may take
years to just be able to speak about the pain, and then more years to be able
to rebuild themselves and their relationships with family, friends, and God.
5.
Find a good counselor!! He tells how the first
counselor did more damage and it was another seven years until he saw another
one and then only under duress.
I highly recommend that everyone read this book.
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