For years I dreamed that I had a family. I always wanted kids. I'm so thankful for the three children that God has given to me.
Today I woke up with only two of them here. Aria is in the hospital recovering from her surgery and Tina's been there with her the entire time. It just doesn't seem right not to have them all here.
Even after a shower and getting dressed, I was required to get back in bed so that my daughter could bring me my breakfast in bed, which consisted of cinnamon toast, watermelon, and coffee (that mom showed her how to make before she left). I also received a card made by my oldest but signed by everyone. And then she crawled in and sat next to me while I ate it. It was very sweet.
I've learned more about God and myself through the experience of being a father. I'm so far from being a perfect father but I do try to at least be a good one. I try to examine events, before and after, in the light of "is that what God would have done?" I know I'm at a disadvantage because I'm not all-knowing but I asked for God's wisdom for guidance, God's patience to deal with issues, and God's forgiveness when I mess up.
In the end, my kids love me and I just pray that I don't mess them up too much so they become well-rounded children who love God, their family, the people they meet, and their country. Is that too much to ask for?
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