A Lesson Learned

One year, when I was about 13 or 14 years old, there was single mom with two older kids who lived in the same mobile home park that we did. Her son went to public school and her daughter went to TCA. My parents arranged for this mom to pick up us three kids and ride with them to school. We probably did this for about two years. My parents would go off to work and we’d be responsible to get ready and be outside in time for this lady to take us to school.

I remember waiting outside in front of our double-wide trailer. One time, I was curious to see if cactus thorns would be strong enough to puncture tires and so I put a dirt pile in the middle of the street and put saguaro cactus thorns in it and pointed it in the direction cars would come. It wasn’t a high-traffic area and not a big street but none of the couple of cars that came by ran over my dirt pile. When I got home, the first thing I checked was that dirt pile and, of course, the thorns were broken.

There was another time when I was getting ready for school and I was all ready but then realized that I had forgotten to do some homework. I’m working on that and then I remember it is Friday and that Friday’s were dress-up day at TCA and we had to wear a tie and dress shoes. So, I’m doing my homework and I start changing my shoes at the same time. Our ride comes, I run out the door and get to school and start greeting my friends and guess what? I had on one tennis shoe and one dress shoe. You can imagine how much of an idiot I felt that day.

Anyway, while on one of our rides to school the mother thought I said something to or about her that I didn’t say and she got mad at me and told me and my mom that she would not take me to school any more. So, I was forced to walk about 4½ miles to school every morning. I don’t know how many months that I did this. My sisters were still allowed to ride but I had to leave early to walk to be able to get to school on time.

I insisted that I didn’t say whatever she thought I did and I wouldn’t apologize for something I didn’t do. My parents didn’t make me. Looking back, I’m kind of surprised about this and at the fact that I don’t remember being punished other than having to walk. 

This went on for a couple months and I finally went to my mom and said I was tired of walking and she told me that maybe if I apologize, she might let me ride in her car again. I told my mom, “but, I didn’t do anything wrong.” And here is the lesson that I learned from my mom. She told me, “Sometimes you have to apologize for things, even if you didn’t do it.” Now, at 13 or 14, that’s a hard pill to swallow. Nobody likes to say they are “sorry” or “please forgive me” to someone for something you’re sure you didn’t do but that’s exactly what I did. She accepted my apology and I was allowed to get a ride to school.

This lesson has stuck with me for life. Whether right or wrong, to this day, I’ll still apologize, even when I don’t think I did anything wrong. The other person thinks they have been wronged and sometimes it’s just better to apologize and remove the conflict than to continue insisting that you did nothing wrong. 

Thank you, mom, for teaching me this valuable lesson. I've never forgotten it.