LESSONS LEARNED THROUGH GAMES (part 2)

#3 – Relationships over Winning
My sisters and I played Monopoly, Pay Day, and other games all summer because we could not do anything else. I almost always won. To this day, my sisters refuse to play Monopoly with me. They claim I have lucky dice. My insistence on winning as a child is affecting my adulthood.

I’ve learned that I can’t play to my full potential with some people. I sometimes have to turn my game-play down a notch to keep others happy. I still try not to win but I’m more concerned with how they feel while playing the game than feeling the need to annihilate them, if possible. For example, a number of years ago I was playing Othello and I knew that the person I was playing with is very sensitive about losing. I knew a strategy and could have made some moves that would have made him/her lose miserably but I played conservatively and tried to keep the game close. Although my intention was to keep the game close and still win, I lost the game but just a little. That’s ok. It made that person feel good and I knew I could have won if I had not decided to play nice. The relationship was more important than me winning.

I’ve learned that aggressive game-play is sometimes considered mean. Some people play with emotions and feelings and can be hurt if they feel you are playing unfair or being unkind. I’d rather lose and have people enjoy playing games with me than hurt their feelings by playing aggressive and being seen as mean. I do play to win, I just try to be nice about it.

#4 – People Equate Losing to being Inadequate
I don’t understand equating losing with being inadequate. They think that if they’re not good at something or better than you at something than there is something wrong with them. I know people that will not play a game unless they have a better than average chance of beating you on a regular basis. There are certain games that I can’t play with certain people or they won’t play certain games with me because I’m better or more skilled at it than them.

Don’t get me wrong. I hate to lose and if I know someone is better than me at a game, that will not stop me from playing against them. I see it as a challenge and hopefully I can improve.

There are some games, usually video games, that I don’t really care to play because I’m not good at them and/or I can’t seem to get the hang of them. This is usually due to not wanting to put the time and energy into getting better at it and I don’t see myself as inadequate, just not experienced enough.